We have no parents so we eat fast food all day.

Everybody talks about Beverly Hills 90210, The OC, Dawson’s creek, One Tree Hill, but what about Party of Five? Does anybody remember this show? Anybody?

The reason why I wanted to watch this show in the first place was because I found out Jennifer Love Hewitt is in it and I’m a huge fan. Yes, I said it. Don’t make fun of me! Sadly she is not in the first season, but who cares because the first season is super entertaining! Who needs Love Hewitt?

Mr. and Mrs. Salinger have died tragically in a car accident. Bailey, Julia, Claudia, and Owen are orphans and their new guadian is their 24 year old brother Charlie. Here are the best and worst bits of each character:

Charlie : Best episode: When he was caring for his baby brother Owen like a father. So cute and touching.

              Worst episode: When he cheated on Kirsten! Luckily I forgave him for that after two or   three episodes.

Bailey : Best episode: When he stuck to his principles on whether or not he should rat out on his friend to stay on the football team.

            Worst episode: The entire time he was with who-cares-about-morals-drug-addict-liar Jill! This went on for a long time. He wouldn’t even listen to Charlie’s advice. Where’s Brandon Walsh? He could give this guy a lecture or two about his ways.

Julia : Best Episode: When she thought it was a good idea to talk to the man that was at fault for killing their parents. Good for you Julia.

         Worst Episode: Uh, there were tons! Over half of the season Julia was acting like a brat! When she lent her house to be the party house without telling the rest of the family. When she pretended to like a guy so she can have sex and quickly lose her virginity. When she pretended she was twenty one. When she made a guy fall in love with her when he was way too old to be dating her (still pretending to be twenty one). When she didn’t want to talk to Charlie while he wanted to tell her that Owen was in hospital. There’s a lot more.

Claudia : Best Episode: The time she sold her voilin to help the family out with their financial issues.

               Worst Episode: She was acting like a brat and wouldn’t listen to Charlie. She did whatever she wanted even though Charlie is the legal guardian. She drove Charlie up the wall and she drove me way up the wall!

Owen : He’s so cute! All he does is eat, sleep and cry, so he’s great all the time. I hope he doesn’t grow up into a brat. Teenagers are such a handful. Tweens are annoying.

 Matthew Fox (Charlie) plays Jack in ‘Lost’. He looks really different with long hair. Neve Campbell is not hot. Hewitt is so much prettier. Sorry. No comparison. Campbell sucks at acting too. It’s really annoying whenever she does that one nervous laugh that isn’t really a laugh whenever she talks. Sounds more like a high pitched exhale. She does it when she’s nervous, casually talking, and when she’s close to tears. Enough!

 I love this show for it’s realism, unlike the crappy teenage stuff on today. I’ve only seen the first season and it’s great so far. The finale surprised me. I can’t wait for season two. Jennifer Love Hewitt will make her first appearances!!! Who needs her? Uh, if this show continues to keep Neve Campbell, this does.

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Highschool in the 90s

I love teen dramas, teen comedies, so I decided to write one of my own. This episode it based on the pilot of Beverly Hills 90210.

Starring Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, Jessica Simpson as the Samson sisters, and more stars of the 90s.

Episode 1 – The Class of the 90s

 

Christina is sleeping face down on on her pillow. Her Whitney Houston alarm clock belts out:
And I………..e…I…………
Will Always Love…. You….ooeeooo.
Jessica runs into her bedroom and pulls out the plug.
Jessica: Christina wake up! It’s our first day of school and I have nothing to wear.
Christina: Why don’t you go and annoy Britney.
Jessica: She’s already up. I have nothing to wear. (walks out)
Christina: First day of school. Strange City, no house, no friends, I’m psyched. Oh, she’s gone, and yet I’m still talking, to myself.

Christina walks into Jessica’s room in her new clothes. Piles of outfits and shoes were on Jessica’s bed.
Christina: You have nothing to wear?
Jessica: Christina! Everybody looks like they stepped out of Nirvana music video.
Christina: No they don’t. Grunge stopped. Stop carring what other people wear.
Jessica: How do you manage to handle the first day of school as the new kid?
Christina: Easy. I’m beautiful and I am always right.
Jessica: I need the perfect outfit. Nobody knows me. I could be a nobody.

Christina and Jessica were eating breakfast while Bob Samson  was packing their lunch.
Jessica: You don’t have to pack our lunch. We can eat from the cafeteria.
Mr. Samson: No. I can’t have you touching that food.
Britney walks in wearing a red cropped top, blue skirt, with cowboy boots. They all stare at her.
Britney: What?
Jessica: You’re wearing those boots? No way.
Christina: You’re jealous because you think only you can pull them off. She’s right though Britney, You look like you’re about to step on a pile of horse shit. Let’s go dad!
Mr. Samson: Go back and put on a sweater honey.

Britney walked into Science class and wondered where she should shit. The door behind her was shoved

opened and in walked a blonde  guy. Elijah Watts panicked.
Elijah: Um, hi! You can sit here.
Britney: Really?
Elijah: I can’t have him sit here. He’s a sophomore freshman. He steals my answers and then he gives me monster wedgies.
Britney: Ouch. What’s a sophomore freshman?
Elijah: It’s his second time as a ninth grader. (Smiles) I’m Elijah.
Britney: Britney.

Christina and Jessica were walking with their new friend.
Dione: That’s Mr. Swimmer . He’s the hottest teacher in this school and he’s our science teacher.
Jessica: Great. I won’t have trouble flirting with him for good grades.
Dione: Slut, slut, slut, talks to himself.
Christina: Who are they?


Dione: They’re the most popular seniors at school. Don’t look at them. They’re going through some weird crazy shit at the moment.
Jessica: Creepy…

Students were starring at the sky when Britney and Elijah walked down the stairs to the courtyard.
Britney: What are they all starring at?
They both looked. A jet was writing in the sky.
Britney: Potty at 25 Hills avenue.
Elijah: All right, a party. We are both going to be there. Our first party.
Britney: He’s still writing. No . . . fishman?
Elijah: Freshman. Man. (looks up) We’re still going.
Britney: We are?

In Jessica’s bedroom.
Jessica: Let’s tell dad to take us to the party.
Christina: No. He’ll never let us, and when we tell him he’ll be suspicious of everything we do.
Jessica: You’re so smart.
Christina: Yeah, yeah, shut up, I’m thinking. We’ll ask Dione to take us and tell dad we’re going to hang out with our friend. He can’t say no. He wants us to get use to this new place.

Outside the party house behind a bush.
Elijah: This is what we do. We’ll go to the back, climb the fence, jump into a tree, and climb down very slowly. Nobody will be focused on the shade of the tree. It should be pretty dark. It’s the perfect plan.
Jessica and Christina walked in with Dione.
Britney: Jess! Christina! Let’s go Elijah.
Elijah gets pulled inside the backyard.

Christina watched Jessica flirt with some guys. She walked off on her on. A boy  sat on a bench by himself.
Christina: Hi. You look familiar. Do I know you?
Macaulay: You should. This is my party. This is my house!
Christina: I swear I’ve seen you before.
A boy stops by.
Boy1: Dude. You look familiar.
Macaulay: This is my party! This is my house! Doesn’t anyone know me?
Christina: Sure. You’re the host.
Boy1: Welcome to the party host dude.
Macaulay: This is my party!

Elijah and Britney were standing beside the pool. The guy pushed Elijah into the pool.
Sean William Sean: No freshmans!
Everybody laughs.
Britney: Elijah!
Elijah: I’m drowning! Wait, no I’m fine. Help me up.
Britney pulls him out of the pool.

Britney, Elijah, Christina, and Jessica walked out of the party.
Jessica: This is the worst party ever. Nothing happened. It’s like this whole day was an introduction of the Samson sisters. Boring.
Christina: I predict it would only get– Dad!

At home.
Mr. Samson: Sorry kids. For lying you three will be grounded for two weeks.
Jessica: We’re so sorry.
Christina: We betrayed your trust. We just wanted to fit in. You know how hard it is for us as the new kids. We wanted people to like us. We wanted to have friends. (Mouth Quivers)
Mr. Samson: Girls, I want you to have friends, you should have told me the truth.
Jessica: This is will never happen again.
Britney: We love you daddy.
Mr. Samson: My poor girls. Okay, since it’s your first day of school, I’ll let you off this time. I know how tough peer pressure can be.
All: Thanks dad!
They all share a big loving hug.

The End

I decided to finish it with a Fullhouse ending. Hope you enjoyed it.

And BV 90210 enter our lives.

It’s 1990, and I am born. While I have no idea what is going around me, people in America are watching the first episode of Beverly Hills 90210. I actually never heard about it until the episode of their reunion aired on television. I was a big fan of Prue Halliwell from Charmed, and hated the rest of the season when she left. So you can tell how excited I was to see her in her teen years on a hit teenage drama. I love teenage dramas.

Family Guy (One Tree Hill):

Nathan: Dude, let me tell you something. There is nothing that will ever happen in the rest of our lives that is as important as what’s going on, right here, right now in high school by these lockers.

Lucus: I got so many problems

Nathan: Hey, nothing that can’t be fixed by starring at a lake.

Weep, well said you guys. I live right by a creak, but it’s covered in old packets of potato chips and soda cans, and there’s barely any water because of the drought. I think I’ll just get angrier if I stare at it too long. . . SO Brenda and Brandon Walsh (played by Jason Priestley and Shannon Doherty) had moved from a town in Minneapolis to Beverly Hills because of their father’s job. A major culture change. They must have filmed this in 1989 or something because the eighties were still rocking in this show. The first thing we see is Brandon Walsh waking up with a mullet. Oh the horror! I was glad that he decided to cut that thing off. 90210 became so famous and loved by many teenagers. Some people even believed that it was a realistic show. I’ve never lived in Beverly Hills so I wouldn’t know what it was like. Brenda quickly made a friend in chemistry class by the name of Kelly Taylor. Kelly didn’t want to sit with a loser, and she just had a nose job which showed the audience what character we were expecting. Kelly annoyed me so much. Her voice wasn’t helping either. Steve Sanders was only slightly better. He was the cocky blonde guy (so typical) and wanted to get back together with his Kelly. He was also really stupid. Especially in the episode where the girls steal his car. He allowed them to screw with him twice!

Everyone at school were invited to a party except for the freshmens, so David Silver and his side-kick decided to crash it anyway. David Silver was pretty much the most desperate kid you’ll ever meet! Brandon met the host of the party who was having lots of problems, comforts her, and in seconds the two of them were dating. Through out the first season, Brandon always seemed to get every pretty brunette that gets shoved in his face. The mexican girl, the senior with the baby, the tv actress, uh, uh, I’m sure there’s more but I can’t think of any more right now. The brunette that he should have been with was Andrea Zuckerman, although I thought they would have been a strange couple at first. Andrea was his boss, the editor of the school newspaper. She was his wise friend who was always right about everything. Her social life wasn’t very active and she hid it behind her school job.

The best thing about this show was Brenda and Dylan. Dylan McKay was the mysterious James Dean looking kid. He had the money, but he didn’t have what he wanted most; love. His father didn’t pay attention to him and his mother was a flake. His life started to change when he met the Walshes, and fell in love with Brenda. They were so happy together, if only the father could see it. The biggest problem they had was ‘sex’. When was she going to put out? Did she want to put out?

Eventually she did. Brenda and Brandon found out that they would be moving back to Minneapolis (already!) and they felt miserable. They had only been there one year. They lived in Minneapolis for their whole lives. They should had been slightly more excited. Sex was still a problem between Brenda and Dylan because it the season ended with her thinking she might be pregnant. That would suck. They did it like, two times. This means that the first time is not a free pass, Michael Kelso!

I forgot about Donna Martin on purpose because in the first season she was pretty much a nobody. I only knew her as Kelly and Brenda’s friend. There was only one episode with her storyline; April is the Cruelest Month. Matthew Perry was in that episode as a rich senior student, Roger. Even though Brandon promised to remain friends with him, he was never seen in another episode ever again. Too bad. I knew him better in that single episode than Donna for the whole season.

I hate the music, the clothes, and the hair, but this is one of the best teenage dramas ever made.

7.8/10